Unmet Expectations

As I prepared to greet 2011, the Lord began speaking to me things he wanted me to focus on this year. At the top of the list was to focus on what I can control. As I narrowed down what I could control it really comes down to two things. I can control my attitude and my actions. That's pretty much it...I can't control what others do and say, what my kids do, what God does, etc. I can ONLY control my attitude of how I react and my actions after it. As with most things I really thought this "mandate" was pointed toward a specific situation I was dealing with at that time. So I started focusing on this situation and CHOOSING to control my attitude and my actions in regards to it.

Of course according to God's nature when he tells us to do something or change something in our life it usually doesn't just apply to one area!

I think one of the hardest area's we face in controlling our attitudes and actions is in dealing with unmet expectations. As women we usually have HIGH expectations...it can range from how good dinner was, what we got for Christmas, how our husbands/kids treat us, where we should be in our life at this point, weight loss, a date night...etc. To be honest I really don't know how to change that and I am not completely sure that God wants us to change. I think God created us that way. He like for us to have HIGH expectations, he likes for us to get excited about something, to reach higher!!

Recently my husband and I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary. After much discussion (finances, kids schedule, hubby work schedule, etc) we decided to invest in a night away at a local hotel. We had not gone to a hotel for a night away in over 3 years and I had HIGH EXPECTATIONS of the evening. Needless to say I was disappointed...mainly because at 2 am the pipes in our bathroom sounded like a jack hammer was rattling them. After several calls to the front desk, 1 visit from a maintenance man, and 2 hours later the hotel finally offered to move us to another room. We opted to leave...yes that's right we opted to leave the hotel at 4:30 am in the morning. Both my husband and I were done...tired, frustrated, realizing that once we packed up, moved rooms, unpacked and tried to get back to sleep it would be time to get up again for check-out. Talk about unmet expectations! The whole rest of the day I was edgy, frustrated, angry, because I wasn't supposed to be home dealing with laundry, refereeing 3 boys, cleaning up. I was supposed to be AWAY enjoying a relaxing day..unmet expectations!

Then several weeks later I had a busy week coming up. I was very excited about EVERYTHING I had planned for that week. I was going to start weekly becoming more involved with my church's women's ministry, I was scheduled to go back to Lakewood Church and teach for their women's meeting and I was scheduled to teach at a Vision class for my church. Yes, a lot and yes, all in one week but I was so excited. What I didn't count on was being iced/snowed in for 4 days with 3 boys who couldn't get outside and a husband working nights and trying to sleep during the day. EVERYTHING I had planned for that week was cancelled. My week was certainly not supposed to have included 4 days stuck in the house, never leaving, trying to entertain everyone and running very quickly out of food. I felt like my days revolved around the 4 o'clock news. At 4 they would start announcing school closings for the next day and by about 4:10 I would hear the news that school was cancelled AGAIN!! My attitude and actions were stinky! I realized the evening of day 4 that I was pretty much throwing a fit. Although not on the floor kicking and screaming but with every word, attitude and action. It actually made me chuckle a little bit as the Holy Spirit pointed this out to me in a non-condemning way (Romans 8:1). I thought Lord I am acting like a spoiled child...once again unmet expectations!

So what's a girl to do when all that we have planned, expected, hoped for doesn't happen when we want it to or the way we wanted it to? We have a couple of choices...we can become disappointed, frustrated and angry OR we can control our attitudes and actions. First, we can be honest with the Lord (Psalm 51:6)and share with him Lord I don't like how this has turned out. I really was expecting something different. We can even ask the "why" question - God why did this happen, why didn't you change the event, why didn't you step in? The book of Job is very clear that God is not offended by our questions. God wants us to be honest with him. The Psalms are FULL of honest emotions and questions from David, a man who God delcared was a man after His own heart-Acts 13:22. So share your frustration, your questions with the Lord.

Secondly, we must choose to trust the nature of who our God is. Do you trust God? Do you believe he is sovereign? Do you believe he loves you unconditionally, he wants the very best for us, that ALL THINGS do work together for your good? Do you believe that he isn't sitting up in heaven ready to take our fun away or even inflict harm and pain on us? You have to know who your God is and trust in his very nature. You have to declare to the Lord and to your own mind - God I know that you are good, while I don't like this I know you love me, you have good plans and a future in store for me, this didn't catch you off guard, you have a way for me, I TRUST YOU! You must continue to express your trust every time the enemy comes back against your mind with those disappointing and destructive thoughts.

Lastly, we move on in faith and peace. By declaring our trust in God our faith is built and increased. When we don't allow those missed opportunities, disappointing events, setback and even un-met expectations control our life we gain victory. As we choose to trust God and focus on him HIS peace fills us (Isaiah 26:3) and His understanding comes. And although things haven't worked out the way we wanted or thought they would our attitude and actions are Christ-like not flesh infilled!

So what un-met expectations are you dealing with today? Take it to the Lord and focus on what you can control...your attitude and your actions!