I am in a season of waiting. Can anyone relate? I know a lot of women I talk to are in a season of waiting. Waiting for healing, waiting for a house to sell, a house to buy, a husband, a baby, a promotion at work, a dream fulfilled, a legal matter to be settled, a child to turn to the Lord, etc. We all go through seasons of waiting and believe me it is NEVER easy.
I have really kicked and fought the Lord through this season. I have asked all of the questions-When, Why, How, Why not this or that, etc. I have asked did I miss you, is their a sin I need to confess, WHAT is wrong! I have quoted all of the scriptures - Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Luke 1:45 "Blessed (happy) is she who believed what the Lord has told her will be accomplished." Psalm 138:8 "The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O LORD endures forever-do not abandon (or forsake) the works of your hand." - and many, many, more. I have fasted, prayed, praised, declared, shouted, cried, everything I know to do to hurry up this waiting process and yet nothing changes and still I wait.
I know in my head the truth. I know God is good, he has a great plan for me, he is never late, he has a way and he will FULFILL it. I know that he hasn't forsaken me that he sees me, knows every hair on my head (even the 20 or so that came out this morning), knows when I sit and when I rise, knows what words are on my tongue before I speak them, knows what I feel and the battle I wage with my emotions but somehow for some reason right now these truths aren't reaching my soul (my mind, will and emotions).
Early this morning, after a emotionally tough weekend, I AGAIN cried out in desperation to the Lord. Not necessarily for answers for when this will end and when the promise will be fulfilled (although that information would be great) but out of desperation for the battle in my soul to cease. What immediately resounded back to me was Psalm 40:1-3 "I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on the solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to my God."
As I re-read this familiar scripture I told the Lord I am not waiting patiently (he spoke to my heart and said I know). I said I feel like you aren't listening to me (he said and yet the word said that the first time you cried out to me I TURNED to you and HEARD your cry). I said I feel so stuck in my despair (he said I know). I said I need you to lift me out and sit my feet on solid ground, steady me as I walk this journey and give me a new song. He said look at the verse again (so I did) and he said how does all of these things happen...I said IF I wait patiently. That is what the verse says if I wait patiently then he will do all of these things!
I looked up the Hebrew meaning of both words wait and patiently and in this scripture they are the SAME words. Both words mean to look forward expectantly; to stay in place in expectation of. I do not know what you are "waiting" for but if we will look forward with expectation and stay in a place of expectation God WILL lift us out and set our feet on solid ground. He WILL steady us as we walk and give us a new song. Pastor Joel always says you are one day closer to your breakthrough. Don't give up, don't quit, keep believing and hoping. He always said "get your hopes up"! That is what the Lord was speaking to me today I need to get my hopes up! We may not "feel" an immediate change in our soul but if we will be faithful he will be faithful to his word!
What the Lord spoke to me specifically was stay in place in expectation. My personality is when something isn't changing then I tend to try to make something happen. But the Lord specifically spoke to me that I am to stay in place. Which means keep doing what I am doing, keep being faithful to what he has given me and renew my expectation (my hopes) of what he will do.
So all through today when those negative doubts and feelings have arose I have simply said I am in great expectation of what you are going to do Lord! Has it reached my soul (my mind, will and emotions) not yet...but it will. God is ALWAYS faithful to his word!
Thank you Lord for this reminder again. Thank you that as it says in Psalm 103:14 that you remember that I am yet dust and yet again and again according to Lamentations 3 your mercies are new every morning! Thank you Lord that the minute I cried out to you not only did you hear me but you TURNED to me. The God of all the universe loves me enough to hear me and turn to me. Thank you Lord that as I wait in expectation you will lift me out of despair, set my feet on solid ground, steady me as I walk and put a new song in my mouth.
My encouragement to each of you during this season of waiting is to renew your expectation of what the Lord will do. GET YOUR HOPES UP!!
Monday, November 30, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Why the title "The Wonders of Grace"
I decided to start a blog where I could share what the Lord is speaking to me personally in my daily walk with him in the hope that it might bring encouragement to other women. (My family blog is www.wilsonfamilycraig.blogspot.com).
As I thought and thought of a title grace is what kept resounding within me. For most of my years as a Christian I felt like God's love for me was based on my performance. Was I praying enough, reading my Bible enough, serving in the church enough, etc. I did not fully understand the full meaning of God's grace. Grace means God's unmerited favor. Because of the blood that Jesus shed on the cross and my acceptance of him I am in right standing with God. No amount of praying, reading the Bible or serving will cause God to love me more. He loves me unconditionally!! What freedom that brought into my life. Freedom like I had never experienced before. Romans 4:13 "Clearly, God's promise to give the whole earth to Abraham and his descendants was based not on his obedience to GOd's law, but on a right relationship with God that comes by faith. If God's promise is only for those who obey the law, then faith is not necessary and the promise is pointless."
Now, do I think we should read our Bible, pray, and serve in the church-ABSOLUTELY. But you know what, the more I understood God's grace for me and how even though I didn't deserve it, it was freely given the more I fell in love with Jesus. The more I fell in love with him the more I WANTED to read my Bible, to communicate with him in prayer and to serve people (in the church and out of it)! It was no longer based on being "good enough", it was completely based on my love for the Lord.
The more time I spend in prayer and studying God's word the more "in love" with Jesus I become. Through these last several years as God has grown me in maturity and in ministry I have found the following scripture to be my heart's cry - Acts 20:24 "But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus-the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God." The Good News of God's grace is what this journey is all about.
Stop striving to be "good enough" for the Lord and start developing a relationshp with him. In your friendships you are probably not trying to be good enough before you communicate with you talk to your friends or spend time with them. It is the same with God. He wants us to come to him just like we are; with all of our hurts, failures, success, fear's, etc. Read the Bible (his love letter to you)and discover who he is, his likes and dislikes, the purpose he has for your life, and every good thing he has promised to you. Develop a prayer life - praying is simply talking to Jesus. The Bible doesn't say you have to speak a certain way, be in a specific position or pray at a specific time for your prayers to be heard. Just talk to Jesus like you would your girlfriends and then listen to what he wants to speak to you. Our God is a relational God. He wants to have a relationship with us based on our love for him and his love for us - not based on us trying to measure up!
As I thought and thought of a title grace is what kept resounding within me. For most of my years as a Christian I felt like God's love for me was based on my performance. Was I praying enough, reading my Bible enough, serving in the church enough, etc. I did not fully understand the full meaning of God's grace. Grace means God's unmerited favor. Because of the blood that Jesus shed on the cross and my acceptance of him I am in right standing with God. No amount of praying, reading the Bible or serving will cause God to love me more. He loves me unconditionally!! What freedom that brought into my life. Freedom like I had never experienced before. Romans 4:13 "Clearly, God's promise to give the whole earth to Abraham and his descendants was based not on his obedience to GOd's law, but on a right relationship with God that comes by faith. If God's promise is only for those who obey the law, then faith is not necessary and the promise is pointless."
Now, do I think we should read our Bible, pray, and serve in the church-ABSOLUTELY. But you know what, the more I understood God's grace for me and how even though I didn't deserve it, it was freely given the more I fell in love with Jesus. The more I fell in love with him the more I WANTED to read my Bible, to communicate with him in prayer and to serve people (in the church and out of it)! It was no longer based on being "good enough", it was completely based on my love for the Lord.
The more time I spend in prayer and studying God's word the more "in love" with Jesus I become. Through these last several years as God has grown me in maturity and in ministry I have found the following scripture to be my heart's cry - Acts 20:24 "But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus-the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God." The Good News of God's grace is what this journey is all about.
Stop striving to be "good enough" for the Lord and start developing a relationshp with him. In your friendships you are probably not trying to be good enough before you communicate with you talk to your friends or spend time with them. It is the same with God. He wants us to come to him just like we are; with all of our hurts, failures, success, fear's, etc. Read the Bible (his love letter to you)and discover who he is, his likes and dislikes, the purpose he has for your life, and every good thing he has promised to you. Develop a prayer life - praying is simply talking to Jesus. The Bible doesn't say you have to speak a certain way, be in a specific position or pray at a specific time for your prayers to be heard. Just talk to Jesus like you would your girlfriends and then listen to what he wants to speak to you. Our God is a relational God. He wants to have a relationship with us based on our love for him and his love for us - not based on us trying to measure up!
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