Waiting....

I am in a season of waiting. Can anyone relate? I know a lot of women I talk to are in a season of waiting. Waiting for healing, waiting for a house to sell, a house to buy, a husband, a baby, a promotion at work, a dream fulfilled, a legal matter to be settled, a child to turn to the Lord, etc. We all go through seasons of waiting and believe me it is NEVER easy.

I have really kicked and fought the Lord through this season. I have asked all of the questions-When, Why, How, Why not this or that, etc. I have asked did I miss you, is their a sin I need to confess, WHAT is wrong! I have quoted all of the scriptures - Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Luke 1:45 "Blessed (happy) is she who believed what the Lord has told her will be accomplished." Psalm 138:8 "The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O LORD endures forever-do not abandon (or forsake) the works of your hand." - and many, many, more. I have fasted, prayed, praised, declared, shouted, cried, everything I know to do to hurry up this waiting process and yet nothing changes and still I wait.

I know in my head the truth. I know God is good, he has a great plan for me, he is never late, he has a way and he will FULFILL it. I know that he hasn't forsaken me that he sees me, knows every hair on my head (even the 20 or so that came out this morning), knows when I sit and when I rise, knows what words are on my tongue before I speak them, knows what I feel and the battle I wage with my emotions but somehow for some reason right now these truths aren't reaching my soul (my mind, will and emotions).

Early this morning, after a emotionally tough weekend, I AGAIN cried out in desperation to the Lord. Not necessarily for answers for when this will end and when the promise will be fulfilled (although that information would be great) but out of desperation for the battle in my soul to cease. What immediately resounded back to me was Psalm 40:1-3 "I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on the solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to my God."

As I re-read this familiar scripture I told the Lord I am not waiting patiently (he spoke to my heart and said I know). I said I feel like you aren't listening to me (he said and yet the word said that the first time you cried out to me I TURNED to you and HEARD your cry). I said I feel so stuck in my despair (he said I know). I said I need you to lift me out and sit my feet on solid ground, steady me as I walk this journey and give me a new song. He said look at the verse again (so I did) and he said how does all of these things happen...I said IF I wait patiently. That is what the verse says if I wait patiently then he will do all of these things!

I looked up the Hebrew meaning of both words wait and patiently and in this scripture they are the SAME words. Both words mean to look forward expectantly; to stay in place in expectation of. I do not know what you are "waiting" for but if we will look forward with expectation and stay in a place of expectation God WILL lift us out and set our feet on solid ground. He WILL steady us as we walk and give us a new song. Pastor Joel always says you are one day closer to your breakthrough. Don't give up, don't quit, keep believing and hoping. He always said "get your hopes up"! That is what the Lord was speaking to me today I need to get my hopes up! We may not "feel" an immediate change in our soul but if we will be faithful he will be faithful to his word!

What the Lord spoke to me specifically was stay in place in expectation. My personality is when something isn't changing then I tend to try to make something happen. But the Lord specifically spoke to me that I am to stay in place. Which means keep doing what I am doing, keep being faithful to what he has given me and renew my expectation (my hopes) of what he will do.

So all through today when those negative doubts and feelings have arose I have simply said I am in great expectation of what you are going to do Lord! Has it reached my soul (my mind, will and emotions) not yet...but it will. God is ALWAYS faithful to his word!

Thank you Lord for this reminder again. Thank you that as it says in Psalm 103:14 that you remember that I am yet dust and yet again and again according to Lamentations 3 your mercies are new every morning! Thank you Lord that the minute I cried out to you not only did you hear me but you TURNED to me. The God of all the universe loves me enough to hear me and turn to me. Thank you Lord that as I wait in expectation you will lift me out of despair, set my feet on solid ground, steady me as I walk and put a new song in my mouth.

My encouragement to each of you during this season of waiting is to renew your expectation of what the Lord will do. GET YOUR HOPES UP!!